Dear Matchmaker
Dear Matchmaker:
“I must admit, I do enjoy spending my Friday or Saturday evenings at a good lounge or bar. Why is it that I can’t seem to find any serious women there?”
Gary N, Grimsby, ON
Dear Gary:
Bars are great for some people: for others they are unpleasant if not frightening. They are often smoky, poorly lit, too noisy for ideal conversation and also expensive!
The people you are likely to meet are random as you have no background on these individuals and judge them only on their appearance.
Some men dislike bars because it can be awkward approaching women. Some women dislike bars or have a negative attitude being approached by men in a bar setting. Most women are unapproachable to men in this setting.
The setting is a perfect screen play for a one night stand and not a good place to begin a long term meaningful relationship.
“AVOID AWKWARD SITUATIONS AND ONE-NIGHT-STANDS!”
Dear Matchmaker:
“I have to say that I found my perfect match at work. He does not know how much of a crush I have on him. How do I approach him?”
Nina H.
Montreal, Quebec
Dear Nina:
The office can be a great place to meet people. You already have something in common.
However, asking a co-worker on a date is tricky because of today’s awareness regarding sexual harassment in the workplace.
In addition, what happens if the two of you break up? Unless one of you quits your job or gets a transfer, you will have to face that person every day making it extremely difficult, uncomfortable, and sometime embarrasing – especially if your co-workers get wind of it!
“KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL!”
Dear Matchmaker:
I met this fabulous girl at a golf tournament 6 months ago. We’ve been together ever since. The problem is, golf is my favourite sport – she doesn’t even own a set of clubs. What do you recommend?
Neil K, Bolton, ON
Dear Neil:
For some people, joining a group, health club or taking special interest courses, can be an excellent way to meet someone – only if you are truly interested in the activity! – GO FOR IT! Remember, most people are there for the group activity – not to meet someone. Congratulations if you are able to snag your mate at a golf tournament.
Once the “honey moon” stage of your relationship is over you may realize that the person you met at the event didn’t have an interest in the sport to begin with; in your case, golf. Perhaps she was invited by a third person had ulterior moves being there.
Trying to find a potential partner under false pretences is complete rubbish. Be true to yourself and consider being in a relationship with someone that shares the same interests as you.
“DON’T SELL YOURSELF SHORT, LIFESTYLE MATTERS!”
Dear Matchmaker:
I can’t understand why my friends keep trying to arrange blind dates for me. All of the match ups have been complete disasters. Most of my married friends cannot believe I am still single at age 37. Do you have any suggestions?
Daniela P.
Woodbrige. ON
Dear Daniela:
Married people sincerely want to help their friends find a partner. Families want to extend themselves by attempting to help other family members become married, all with good intentions. They will introduce you to someone that they think would be just perfect for you.
The problem is that family and friends can be biased when selecting someone for you, and often don’t ask the right questions to really understand someone. Only you know your inner self. Being introduced to someone at family gatherings, can be uncomfortable and rather awkward. It seldom works out because family does the choosing, not you.
“MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES!”
Dear Matchmaker:
In the past, I’ve tried different ways to meet someone and I have been very dissatisfied. Also no luck with online dating.
Sara G.
Richmond Hill, ON
Dear Sara:
Newspaper ads provide you with very little information: a few words and that’s it! Online sites tend to take a clinical approach like a doctor’s office. People offer very little information and have a hard time writing about themselves. Also, people tend to misrepresent themselves as there are no screening features which only leads to disappointment when the real person is uncovered.
In classified ads, there is no photo or detailed personal information. When you read a personal ad or respond to an online dating prospect, you have no way of knowing if anything is true.
When you select people in online dating sites, you will notice that many can lie about their looks, age, weight, employment and marital status. In fact, most use outdated pictures. People tend to tell you more of what you want to hear. How many times have you met someone, only to find out they are not really who they claim to be?
“SAVE YOUR TIME AND ENERGY!”